got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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