why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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