Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
