just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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