ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
we're so committed to being not committed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
