Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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