Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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