U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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