I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I stole a fireplace last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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