escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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