Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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