Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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