Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize