id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am one with the molecules
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