It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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