your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
