I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
