did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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