U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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