Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize