grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
