You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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