i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
