It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
