so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
