i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
