how can u be prego again
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
