Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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