she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
