hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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