if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
