Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
