yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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