The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
