addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
