im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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