Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize