I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
