So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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