Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
