Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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