She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
