We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
