i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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