Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
