Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
