I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize