I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
