I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
