if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
