It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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