At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
