ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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