allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
