She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
