remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
