chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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