The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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