Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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