What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
