Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
