i permit you to call me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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