He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
