so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
