so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
