Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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