You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
