I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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