"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
