break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
